What does one call a Mexican British combo? Britican? Mexglish? I think a more fitting title, given recent political developments, would be a Brexican. The combo I’m referring to is Mrs P, my Mexican bride who now, finally, totes a certficate declaring her new found British citizenship.
It’s a long and expensive path to British citizenship. And a right little earner for the treasury it is too. The process started back in Mexico in 2011 with the application for a Spouse visa. But not before Mrs P had passed an IELTS English test. And we kissed the best part of a grand goodbye. That was just the first installment.
Two years later we upgraded to an Indefinite Leave to Remain visa. Which also involved another test – Knowledge of Life in the UK. The passing of which proves only that the person is not British. A Brit would fail handsomely. And then, naturally, we waved adios to another grand.
We kicked off the final stage, citizenship, last September. The wheels of the British civil service move slowly. But, greased with another grand and a bit, they do move. The letter to tell us that the application had been approved arrived at the beginning of December. We booked the next available spot for the citizenship ceremony. Bournemouth do them monthly at the Town Hall.
The citizenship ceremony is a fairly recent invention. A decree from above instructed that newly recruited Brits should attend a ceremony from 2004, in an effort to make them feel more British. I expected a rather dull affair with a terribly awkward rendition of God Save the Queen at the end.
But I was pleasantly surprised. It was a cheery event, with the national anthem sensibly played at full volume from the stereo to disguise the lacklustre participation of both the new Brits signing on and us old Brits witnessing their ordeal. Photos were taken with the mayor and Her Majesty’s portrait and then we were done.
There’s one more job to do though. Mrs P is going to be applying for her new passport. Her freshly acquired nationality will entitle her to a shiny new European Union passport. Which she will barely have time to use before it is stripped from her. She is indeed a Brexican. For now, until the Brexiteers have their way and make a Brexican’t of her.