Uncle Dick

Feeling a bit poorly? Under the weather? Not quite 100%? Bit icky dicky? A bit Uncle Dick ? A little out of sorts? Not feeling too good? A touch unwell?

Yeah, that’s me today. In case you’re confused, I’m ill. Sick. Stuffy nose, the shivers, can’t smoke as much as I want to. And I’m not ‘pulling a fast one’ either. This is for real, not an excuse to go sink a few Uri Gellers down the Battle while the trouble and strife isn’t looking.

Any other job, and it’s not a problem. Well most other jobs. Just drop a remedy, usually a Lemsip or whatever the local lingo for a packet of cold powder is, and assign yourself a day for catching up on the paperwork.

Not me. I have to speak, and just you try saying everything I’ve written so far with your fingers holding your nostrils closed. Now also imagine that each breath in or out feels like a piece of sandpaper rubbing against your throat. It’s just not possible, or at least very difficult.

This morning it screwed me over a bit, as my class sadly had come to a page requiring a lot of talking, but fortunately the student could see how sick I was and spared me. I went home half an hour early.

Tomorrow I sense I may have to employ the next best thing to assigning myself a day of paperwork. Assigning my students a day of paperwork! Yes, essays, letters, what have you….!


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