Event One – The Long Jump
The venue? Any road side after one of the torrential downpours. You are on the pavement. The bus you need is, of course, in the road. And there is a 4 to 6 foot wide puddle (if you are lucky – a river if you aren’t!) between you and it. The winner is the one who both gets the bus and remains relatively dry.
Event 2 – The Limbo
Open only to 6 foot plus foreigners, the object is to make your way down the entire length of a tree lined pavement, without fracturing your skull on the overhanging branches.
Event 3 – Triple Jump
There are a lot of stray dogs here. They do as they please. The object of this event is to make it from the road to your front door without stepping in the many piles of steaming turds, using your agility, eagle like eye sight, and a fair bit of hop, skip and jumping.
Event 4 – The Neck Straightner
Again, open to 6 foot foreigners only. Take any of the city’s microbuses in rush hour – meaning you won’t have a seat – for a 30 minute ride. Your neck will be bent at right angles throughout due to the serious lack of headroom. The winner is the first one to get their neck back straight upon alighting the vehicle.
Event 5 – Hurdles
At any Metro station early in the morning. You want to get the train. There are half a dozen vagrants sleeping at the entrance. Can you get to the ticket booth without stepping on any of them?
I could go on, but it’s gone midnight and I have work tomorrow. And this is a bit pointless. Still….