An Eye For A Photo

I sometimes play a photo game on Flickr. There is a group called DMU, where the photography is often superb, the language usually adult and the trolling incessant. But you can skip the discussions and go straight the the photography. The idea is simple. You submit a photo to the pool, and other users will vote on it. Get ten save votes before you get ten delete votes, and your photo gets promoted to the hallowed Lightbox.

Voting is tough. I’ve submitted plenty of photos, and only three or four have ever been deemed Lightbox worthy. So many times, I’ve submitted a photo that I think is just great, only to be told it’s an utter turd. Their words. I have another look at my photo. And then, more often than not, I see what they mean. It is actually a turd after all.

I tend to try and produce good photographs, an occasional one anyway, by employing a simple system. Take hundreds, even thousands, of photos. And eventually I’ll be lucky and one will be a good ‘un. Luck works just as well as talent sometimes. And I’m more a lucky sort of person in general, than a talented one. So this system works for me.

But it does pay to ‘have an eye for a shot’. To see the photo before you take it. You either have it, or you don’t. Maybe. Today, I had it. I saw the shot. Jesus taking a pee. The photo is below. I know it looks awkward. But remember, he’s wearing a robe. How do I know it’s Jesus? Well, it’s always Jesus, or the Virgin Mary. Be it in a slice of cheese on toast, or an oil stain. Or even a dogs bottom.

Graham Norton got plenty of complaints when he brought that to the British people. But most of us laughed. I did. Don’t get upset my religious amigos – I haven’t got anything against Jesus or Christians! I am very much an equal opportunity blasphemer. I’d have laughed just as hard if it had been the prophet Mohammed, Lady Di, Elvis or….no. Not Shakira. That would be going too far. Besides, this post isn’t serious enough to be raged against.

But I digress. I saw the shot. I took the shot. Now, finally, I shall become a famous photographer. Just as soon as someone in the media who’s short on stories and in need of something, nay – anything, no matter how weak or tenuous, to entertain their readers or watchers.

All I can do for now is submit this masterpiece to the DMU group, and see if they can identify with my obvious if short lived burst of talent, and vote to save. I’ll report back.

The Peeing Jesus


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