I’ve bought three of your devices in recent years, all iPods. They’re all ingenious devices really, even if I am forced to sync them with the bloatware you call ‘iTunes’. And your customer service for in-warranty products is excellent. Which is just as well given that not one of the devices has ever threatened to work past the warranty. I popped the latest into the service centre this morning. I guess this is preferable to other manufacturers devices which seem programmed to self destruct a minute past midnight of the warranty expiration. Or worse, dying just as you’re presenting it. But still. Might I suggest your next product being named iFunctionbeyond12months? Just so I can sue your sorry ass for false advertsing next time? I jest, of course. Good service or not, I prefer working products. I’ll shop elsewhere next time.
Dear UK retailer,
Thank you for your kind letter, courtesy of your HR dept, informing me that you are unable to take my application any further. I understand you need someone with, and I quote, ‘some previous retail management experience‘. I would instead like to apply for a job in your HR dept, as a replacement for the buffoon who didn’t notice the detailed description of my 20 odd years of retail management experience that consumed about half of my one page CV. Most of that experience in stores of similar or larger size to the store I applied to manage. I can also spell, or at least use a built in spell checker, which will drastically improve the professionalism of the dept. Are all of the HR staff semi-literate? I could bring along a trained chimpanzee if you wish, to take up some of the slack.
Dear Mr Douty
Congratulations! You’ve got a new job, and have had my precious Flickr account placed in your hands. Please note the word precious. My life in pictures are stored on your servers, watched over by your staff. Someone needs to take away the ‘Delete‘ key with urgent haste. I’m only half way through backing up my collection, having accidentally deleted my collection recently. I know, accidents happen. But I’m paying you to make sure they don’t happen to you. Or me.
Photo courtesy of Thomas Hawk