Worst Terrorists Ever

I wasn’t going to post about this. It got far too much attention as it was. And now, to make a point that it got far too much attention, I’ll give it some more. I’ve failed you already. But let’s give it some perspective. The story? The attack on and murder of the soldier Lee Rigby in Woolwich, London. By two British born black gentlemen who converted to Islam, about the same time as the UK and US were invading Iraq.

Here’s the perspective. They were the most crappy, ineffective, inept and dumb terrorists ever. There’s a lot of competition out there – generally speaking, Western born terrorists are dumb by definition. But these guys top the charts. First of all, where’s their damned ambition? They killed ONE soldier. And that’s all they set out to do. One. Uno. Pathetic. How long did they sit in their squat thinking this one up?

Secondly, they set out to behead him, but by all accounts failed to do so. Even though they had the best part of a quarter of an hour before armed police turned up. Meat cleavers and knives and fifteen minutes. Epic fail. Then they got faced down by a pair of little old ladies. And when the armed police arrived? With guns? Versus meat cleavers? Well, of course, they charged at the officers. And were shot. That was never going to end well, was it? Cleavers versus guns. The mind boggles.

Actually, let’s step back. When they charged the police, one of them did have a gun. He raised it and pulled the trigger. I understand it backfired and blew his finger off. Then they shot him. Several times. Fail again. So there’s the perspective. Two nutters commit ghastly crime, but also it was the world’s most pathetic terrorist attack ever. But it’s not been off the front pages since. And because they weren’t killed, we’ll have many months of them on our televisions as their trial proceeds.

They’ve gotten far more attention than they deserved. Nutters like this thrive off attention. We can control that. We can’t stop nutters doing nutty things, but we can cut off their livelihood – attention. But we didn’t. In fact we even started giving air time to other fundies who wanted to air their views. And, of course, it brought out the white power nutters too. Just turn the cameras off. Report the murder, ignore the murderers.

In other less important news, buried behind the news of nutters, celebs and general gossip,there are millions of people who remain unemployed in the UK, and tens of millions who are struggling to make ends meet due to the incompetence of bankers, lawyers and politicians. There are though, unbelievably, a million people employed in call centres. A million. Why the hell does a country of 65,000,000 need a million call centre operatives? 

6 thoughts on “Worst Terrorists Ever

  1. And you left out the fact that the soldier the chose to kill was not a tank driver, but a band member. The whole thing sounded as if it came out of the Monty Python Manual on Jihad.


  2. Kim G says:

    Well, the Boston bombers managed to injure more victims. But the sheer stupidity of their lack of plan was breathtaking. Not enough money to flee. Then they decide to hold up a convenience store which of course draws a lot of police attention, which they aggravate by staging a shoot-out with police.

    I see these nutcases, and think to myself, “Thank god these terrorists aren’t actually smart and cunning. They’d be able to do some real damage if they were.”


    Kim G
    Boston, MA
    Where if we could only outlaw stupidity, a lot of these crimes would never happen.


    • At least they had ambition. Steve was right. British terrorists do sometimes seem to have been inspired by Monty Python.

      I guess the Boston Duo didn;t expect their luck to run so far as to there being a Day 2….


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