The court of King Arthur, the Loch Ness monster, the ‘Good Old Days’ and the British spring of 2018 – all frequently talked about, but never actually seen. Despite the occasional, unsubstantiated rumour of a sighting from persons of dubious integrity, there is no hard evidence that any of them exist. Or have ever existed. They are simply part of British folklore.
The meteorological office insists that spring will arrive this week. With a vengenece. Temperatures will top those in Portugal, they say. Londoners will positively sizzle in a mid 20 celsius heatwave towards the end of the week. Promises, promises. promises. We’ve been here plenty of times before, only to be let down. Just like the time that guy promised to find the monster by conducting a sonar sweep of Loch Ness. And all those archaeological digs for Camelot. And all that fact checking that’s been done on Nigel Farage’s account of how things used to be.
Whilst sceptical, I do live in hope. It’s been a very long winter. I dread to see the state of our gas bill. Central heating isn’t cheap. It’s been so long that the sun has surely been put on the endangered list. When we do finally see a big fiery orange ball in the sky, those of us who keep up with current affairs may well first check that WW3 hasn’t started before we celebrate too loudly. We need some sun here in the British Isles. This week, por favour.