I think I may have been accidentally killing pensioners. A couple a day, every day, for a week or two. It’s hard to know how many, if any, for sure. Worse, I think I’m probably going to keep on killing pensioners for the foreseeable future. I just can’t stop myself.
You see, I was thinking this morning about how I am most likely to catch Covid19. I work in a retail environment. Fortunately, I work behind a glass screen, so I’m safe from coughs and sneezes. But I do handle cash. I looked it up. Viruses can be transmitted, quite easily it transpires, through bank notes and coins. Some countries in the Far East have already been quarantining cash. But not here. So that’s how I’ll likely get infected.
It’s also how I’m most likely to pass it on. Heck, even if I don’t get infected, I’m still likely to pass it on. Who to? I work in an industry where a high proportion of people buy online. But less so with the elderly. They’re more likely to come and buy from me. And they’re less likely to use contactless. Old people still like good old fashioned cash.
So for weeks now, pensioners have been coming to my window and giving me crisp bank notes and a cheery greeting. And in exchange I’ve been giving them their tickets, their change and quite possibly a lethal dose of Covid19. It’s hard to know exactly how many I might have seen off so far, or how many are at risk from my murderous onslaught over the coming weeks.
How many notes are infected? How effective are notes at transmitting the disease? I have no idea. But I suspect that it is actually very likely that I will discreetly dish out some death before this is over.
The Mexile 