#THROWBACKTHURSDAY

March 2003, atop Sigirya in Sri Lanka. It’s a truly beautiful country, I can’t speak highly enough of the place or the people I met along the way. I was just a wee young lad, barely into my 30s. It seems so long ago. But then this is Lockdown 2020, and February seems half a lifetime ago.

You might notice that I’ve got a pretty decent tan. This was about the halfway point in my two week trek. You might also notice that I’ve got a cigarette in my hand. Smoking was a constant feature of my life from the age of fifteen up till  4 months, 23 days and 21 hours ago. I know this, because I swore I’d never have another puff and set the app on my phone to start counting the days.

I haven’t had another puff. Not a one. Every other attempt to give up, and there have been many, has been accompanied by constant self doubt. A certain knowledge that it won’t last. Not this time. I know I have it beat. I know this because even when I have a craving, I have no desire to smoke. At all. I’m going to just go ahead and say it….I’ve done it. 

Just in time too, wouldn’t you say? Smokers suffer mightily if they pick up the Corona lurgy. I do still feel a little vulnerable, given that I have the legacy of a 30 year, twenty a day habit in my lungs. But they feel so much better. I feel so much better. Every passing day of not smoking helps. And if worse comes to worse, I’m in a much better position to deal with Covid-19 than if the app told me it’s been just 20 minutes since my last fag.

Of course, if worse really does come to worse, and I end up accounting for one of the daily death totals despite my best efforts to avoid such an outcome…then what a bloody waste of time giving up turned out to be. Pft.