I found myself walking through the West End in London recently. It was late evening, approaching 9pm. There were the usual thronging crowds of diners, theatre goers, sightseers, pubbers and clubbers, workers going to work, workers going home, bikers, scooterists, homeless folk and Deliverooisters. And everyone seemed very happy. Except maybe the homeless folk. But it seemed to me that everyone would soon be as miserable as the homeless folk. Because, as everyone knows, at 9pm most of those folk were going to be robbed, stabbed, kidnapped, raped and murdered. Britain, and London in particular, is lawless.
Well, this is what everyone knows in the twisted world of Nigel Farage. In the event, Big Ben chimed the hour in and absolutely nothing happened. Everyone continued enjoying themselves. Fancy that. Nigel Farage getting everything wrong and talking bollocks. Indeed, stabbing, burglaries and robberies are a fraction of what they were at the turn of the century. Nigel Farage talking bollocks shouldn’t come as a surprise. This is a man who has spent the last 20 years getting literally everything wrong. Telling us how good a president Putin is, from his seat in the Russia Today studio. Telling us that our trading future should be with China. And when that went wrong, that we should do a deal with the US. And when that went wrong – look, brown people! And it’s that last bit that holds true with his core followers. That, ultimately, is what he is and always has been about.
Farage isn’t simply a populist politician. He’s worse. He’s a Tik Tok populist politician. Which is similar in many regards, but with a more vindictive and addictive delivery. That said, it is true that other types of crime have rocketed. Shoplifting and fare evasion on buses and trains are rampant, and are going almost unchallenged. I have, with my own eyes, seen men and women going in shops (usually Prets, Greggs or convenience stores) and fillings huge bags with food, alcohol, steaks, cheeses and whatever else they fancy. There’s no effort to hide what they are doing and when they can carry no more they will casually walk out. No need to run. They know that the staff that have been silently watching them will not give chase. They know the police won’t be called. They know there is no consequence. It does make me a little angry.
Until there are consequences. A police chief recently called on the public to confront shoplifters. A brave suggestion that hasn’t gone without criticism. But I understand the sentiment. And a couple of days before he went on record, I’d done exactly that. Mrs P and I were shopping in our local Co-op, a store with a reputation for theft. A chap was filling a large bag with multipacks of beer. And then other stuff. I wasn’t intending to say anything. But as I got to the door and I noticed him coming out behind me, I changed my mind. I stopped in the doorway, blocked his exit, and told him to go back and pay for his stuff. I’d paid for mine. I wasn’t going to pay for his too, through higher prices.
He tried to push past me. That didn’t work. He tried to plead with me, that he’d hit hard times. That didn’t work. Beer won’t make hard times any better. I stood my ground. He could pay for the goods or leave them behind. And then, rather suddenly, one of the two small girls working in the store tried to snatch the bag from him. And then it all kicked off. They both spun around and he fronted up to her. Having initiated the whole incident I was rather committed. I grabbed hold of him, hustled him away and forcibly removed the bag from his grip. A pack of beer shot out and burst on the floor. He decided to have a go at fronting up to me, which ended with him being hustled to the doorway, shoved through it and being sat on his behind. I’ve probably never looked so alpha. The shoplifter genuinely felt hard done by. I blocked him from coming back in, but he was remonstrating with the staff behind me that he shouldn’t have been stopped. He wasn’t, apparently, ‘the worst’. Stealing from shops clearly didn’t count as a crime in his mind. Perhaps he has a point.
So what were the consequences? Let’s list them. I had to apologise to the store manager when she appeared, and take responsibility for the whole fandangle – she was (albeit mildly) admonishing the girls for getting involved. The shoplifter had to go steal his stuff from somewhere else. The police were called by a fellow customer, but they made no appearance, so time was wasted by all concerned. Three customers congratulated me, because everyone is fed up of this. Co-op has done nothing. And when I went in there on Tuesday, I watched a guy pick up two large boxes of beer and walk out, unchallenged. My efforts clearly provided no long lasting deterrence. And now I need to keep an eye open for local never-do-wells. I don’t mind meeting them in the street. But I’d rather they don’t know where I live or what car I drive. But by far the most serious consequence to this and other crimes of this sort is that it leaves people believing Farage’s bilge that all crime is out of control.
Let no one be in any doubt. The greatest danger to our general well being and British way of life is Nigel Farage. It’s the Putin apologist, not the shoplifter. It’s the racist bigot, not the fare evader. And he can be challenged. With a milkshake or a ballot. Or both.
The Mexile 