Ancient Brutes

There’s plenty to catch you eye in the British Museum. This one caught my eye. Whilst many people assume that the ancient civilisations were a brutal and bloodthirsty lot, this piece of marble shows quite the opposite. They engaged in the sort of combat that could only be referred to in a modern context as ‘playground antics’. The infamous nipple cripple might make one squeal like a pig, but there’s no lasting trauma. Likewise, a little hair pulling never did anyone any harm.

The ancients, I thus conclude, were far more civilised than we give them credit for. I bet if the cenotaur hadn’t lost an arm, we’d see nothing more than a big tickly feather in his mitts. Perhaps the Mayans were misunderstood also. Ripping out still beating hearts? They may well have just been plucking a few chests hairs.